Brrrrrrrrrrr

It's so icey at work today I needed a wool sweater. 'Nuff said

Oh, and I'm buying a lottery ticket tonight

Bad Bad bad girl

I just received this e-mail


" Sandi, you've lost your window privledges" You left your window unlocked and the wind blew it open and I'm only leaving now at 8 pm. I had to come and wait for the police".

I feel bad, I really do... but I've lost my privledges??? -Laughs- I think tomorrow I'll go in early and move my entire desk outside OR I'll paint a picture of an open window and tape it to my wall.

Weekend moments captured

Saturday Morning- Surprised the girls and took them to the fair. $200 and heatstroke later I remember why I need to stop taking them to the fair. The dude working the funhouse is drunk. He's not even attempting to conceal it. He's slumped over his on/off power switch and I have to tell the girls we won't be going into the funhouse today. The best part; he's wearing a shirt that reads "Winner of the Carnival Canada employee award" Of course I forgot the camera

Saturday Night- An impromtu Birthday party for ME! My brother, his wife, my sister, her boyfriend, my friends Pam and Jamie, Scott and the girls were all at the house. We had an amazing dinner, hung out by the fire and played a drunken game of Cranium. It was very nice.

Sunday- I sealed the deal! For Drews Birthday, coming up in 2 weeks, I bought 15 tickets in the dug-out for a Lynx baseball game. Baseball game with dinner in the restaurant upstairs after. Its going to be fantastic. I'm excited and its not even my birthday party.

Sunday afternoon- Jess gets dropped off today by her dad . His girlfriend is in the car and as always, I smile and wave at her. She looks away and doesn't acknowledge me which is fairly usual. Maggie, my puppy, fresh from a dip in the river comes trotting over and proceeds to jump up on the girlfriend, getting muddy, wet paws all over her white sweater. I'm supposed to feel bad aren't I?

This very moment- Its cold and rainy. I'm curled up on the couch writing this blog, drinking coffee and wondering where the weekend went. Once my toes thaw, I'm downstairs to pump some weight, then BBQ chicken for dinner .

We've been annoited...

...into the elitist crowd. I'm not exactly sure how it happened or even when it happened, but it definitely happened. My social calendar is now bright with stickers reminding me of upcoming pool parties, BBQ's , comedy fundraisers, potlucks, hockey nights etc; all of which we've been invited to. There is so much irony to this story, Shakespeare would be envious.

Small rural towns are eerily similar to religious sects. You're either in or you're out. There is no grey area. I spent two years of my adolescence in a small town and I was definitely out. While most teenage girls spent their Friday evenings at the mall or grooming for house parties with the school quarterback on their arm , I was playing Euchre with the boys. Not only was I not in, I was the evil nemesis of the town. Mostly ignored but frequently despised. The welcome wagon that met me at my locker the first day of school swiftly reminded me that if I even looked at their boyfriends I was dead. I was looking for my tupperware container of peanut butter squares and a Aloe plant but neither arrived. I did get a few crank calls though. The boys were interested initially. Afterall, I was a city girl and didn't city girls put out? Not this girl. My popularity with the males waned after a mere 2 months. The small town experience left a very bad impression and when 15 years later I decided to pack up and move to another postage stamp on the map, I was cynical before the first box was unpacked.

My girls had one important advantage. The began school in this small town. They were one of them from day one of kindergarten. Drew has proven unbelievable popular, with little Jade on her heels. I watch in fascination how everytime I take Drew to school, the kids swarm her. They beg to play with her, offer bribery cookies in exchange for her to be their gym partner, invite her to sleepovers/birthday parties/play dates. It's not a surprise. She's the star goalie on the towns hockey team, she was snowboarding at age 5, playing rugby by age 6 and her best friends are popular twin boys. Her smile is absolutely infectious, her self confidence resonating and bias aside, she is the cutest little button. Yes, she is the reason we are now in the elite crowd.

How positively embarrassing. Our 7 year daughter made us popular. S and I can't help but chuckle over this. We were invisible in this cow town until Drew took them by storm. Now, she's invited everywhere and by proxy, we started being invited too. Of course it didn't hurt that I coach these kids and we prevailed as the 2007 champions. Eventually, we made our way to the guest list for the adult functions and now, its never ending.

Saturday evening we were invited to a private party , the theme of course being hockey. This town ( like every other in Ontario) is obsessed with hockey. The twins parents hosted and they went all out. Three big screen tv's strategically placed throughout the house, one on the enormous deck that we could watch while sipping wine in the pool. No, I am not kidding. The food and drink were plentiful, the children blissfully playing in the pool or on the jungle gym or on the trampoline. Not to be outdone by anyone, dusk brought with it a full out fireworks display. The 30 minute show was breathtaking and during the performance, S nudges me and we break out in laughter. We can't believe we're here. We can't believe we're part of this crowd. We're convinced there must be some mistake. We're pathetic. We can't linger too long after the fireworks because tomorrow there is a BBQ and on Monday a Birthday party. All hosted by members of this crowd. From the inside I've gained alot of insight. I understand why people who are out will do just about anything to be in this stereotypical elite crowd. The connection and sense of belong is like nothing I've experienced. Its surreal . I keep waiting for the day when I'll do something stupid and free fall from grace. I've also learned that as a teenager I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of belonging. It mattered then. It doesn't matter now. Maybe, thats the key. We haven't changed. We refuse to change and adapt. We don't blend at all with these folks and I like that just fine. I can enjoy then for who who they are without wanting to be like them
I will not buy and SUV. I will not start getting pedicures and I will not gossip for hours like a hen with tourettes.

All these years later and I finally got my peanut butter squares and aloe plant. I didn't eat the squares and I killed the plant. I never want to morph.

Mom Roars...in a nice sorta way..kinda

Prologue: The poster is breathtaking, hand drawn images and silouettes with random quotes and lyrics. The Lyric in question " No I scream. Fuck em all!" The alteration was a crude drawn bandaid over the word "Fuck"

The letter is self explainatory and written to Jesse's Highschool Vice Principal.

Onward...



Dear Mr. Ma*****,

My daughter Jesse approached me this evening with a conversation you had with her regarding an art project which was deemed profane according to the policies of The Ottawa Board of Education. In adhering to the schools policy, I requested Jesse alter the phrase in question so that it would be deemed acceptable for submission. I realize that your original request be that Jesse re-do the entire art project but I advised her otherwise. It was important to me that she understand why she needed to alter the phrase in question without compromising her artistic integrity or altering her vision of this project. Mr. Rob***** requested The Grade 10 class submit a poster reflecting two human outlines and doodles/phrases/lyrics that are of
significance to the artist. Jesse’s vision was the plight of modern day adolescence and the obstacles they face. The images and quotes speak of love, hope and frustration at this stage of growth. I have watched her complete this project and was quite impressed with her artistic impression. While she may have exhibited poor judgement in her choice of quotes, the thoughts and feelings remain hers.

Mr. Ma*****, please understand that I have watched my daughter struggle through the roller coaster of adolescence , emerging relatively unscathed and in fact a wonderful young woman. Recently I picked her up from a party where the parent was serving underage kids alcohol and Jesse was among the very few who remained sober. ( Yes, it was myself that called the school in a rage over this incident) Teens are spending their weekends engaging in risky behaviours while my daughter is home, force feeding us her homemade vegan pizza and playing Spongebob game of life with our family. I am very proud of her choices and won’t punish her for a simple lapse in judgement. I also will not stifle her means of expression as this is an important outlet for her. Had you asked her, she would have explained that the quote was taken from a song that she currently relates to, rejecting social peer pressure and being at peace with who she is . I thought her choice of alteration was very fitting. The ‘bandaid’ represents censorship and adhering to authority. Jesse was concerned that this alteration would be viewed as an act of disrespect
and further discipline would ensue as a result. I hope that isn’t the case . As I said earlier, her only fault is lack of judgement , nothing more, nothing less. If you wish to discuss this further, I would be happy to speak with you on the telephone or in person. I can be reached at *** ****

Respecfully,

Sandi

This is what 36 years old looks like...

36 Years Old
432 Months
13,140 Days
315,360 Hours

There was a time when 36 sounded so old. Then again, that was back before I lost all my baby teeth. Now that I'm here, its not so old afterall. Its less than half of the typical life expectancy for women. I'm almost at the halfway mark so surely there needs to be some sort of reflection by now.This is what I've come up with.

A little humour, a little serious and alot honest.

This is what I've learned...

1. Its tragic to discover Santa isn't real. We spend our adult lives seeking that similar magic to no avail.

2. When ice cream goes on a big sale, don't buy it. The grocers need to move it fast because it melted in the warehouse and your beloved french vanilla bean is now crystallized crap.

3. Gods cruel joke... Laugh lines.

4. Your heart can swell up to 5 times its regular size when your daughter has her first shut out as goalie.

5. That same heart can crush into a million pieces when your daughter tells you she wishes she was adopted because you wouldn't let her go to that party.

6. Fruit Loops taste just as good now as they did when I was 5.

7. There is an acceptance that comes with aging. Your own skin actually starts to feel pretty comfortable.

8. Want to feel really old? Go to 80's dance night.

9. There is nothing more endearing than watching a man braid his daughters hair.

10. It not a stereotype; mechanics do try screwing women over

11. I do not want to eat genetically altered anything. I do not like it Sam I Am

12. Death sans dignity is probable. 60% of elderly people die on the toilet. One way or another you're gonna get caught with your pants around your ankles.

13. Roll down your window when crossing any body of water. If your car sinks, an open window is the only way you're getting out.

14. Never ever twitch when getting your eyebrows waxed. It takes 2 weeks to stop looking like BoBo the clown.

15. Women are selfless, nurturing and intuitive. Men aren't.

16. Cosmetic testers at drugstores have more bacteria than a garage toilet seat.

17. The Government doesn't really want you to quit smoking. Its too expensive for them if you live to be 80 . Stop subsidizing tobacco companies and taxing cancer sticks if you really want to convince us.

18. Spirituality leads us closer to God. Religion leads us closer to war.

19. Global warming.. or the end of the ice age. You decide

20. How can hazelnut chocolate spread on toast be nutritious as the commercial says?

21. If a man lets you nap and actually removes the children from the home while you nap, keep him. He's gold.

22. Listen carefully to the stories told by the elderly. They are very much relevant to today and they fast track you on the road to knowledge.

23. I think I'm the only one not on anti depressants. Am I missing the party?

24. I don't care how much you like them; raisins are rotten grapes and you won't convince me otherwise.

25. Cocoa butter does not fade stretch marks.

26. Its illegal to try and sell a mouthy teenager for 2 goats and a bag of magic beans

27. Every day I strive not to be like my mother.

28. Soap and corn bread shall always remain comfort food.

29. I actually like my ass.

30. I'm going to look hilarious as an old lady with all these tattoos.

31. Orgasm ends all the worlds problems, for about 7 seconds

32. Fat Free Cool whip is brilliant

33. I can claim my dog ( her vet bills, food etc) as a security system if I work at home.

34. Don't get all excited if you can wear a size zero. With vanity sizing, that size zero is actually a size six.

35. I love very very deeply. Its painful at times, but I'd never trade that intensity for anything

36. I missed out on having a close girlfriend. One of the very few regrets I have

37. I need more sleep as I get older. That sucks

38. My metabolism is slowing down. That sucks even more

39. Do not miss one single moment on the ride of life. It goes by fast and the scenery is gorgeous.

40. Happy Birthday . 36 is a good year

Baby Love ...

A very enjoyable evening. Sat outside late this evening. listening to the crickets, the the breeze against my cheek, the occasional splash as the otter or perhaps beaver take a plunge in the river. The tranquility is ...heaven.

Now, curled up on the couch listening to my Ipod, surfing a little of everything. This is my playlist for the evening; No laughing, only giggling permitted.

-scrolls-

Not Over- Daughtry
Lady Like - Big Wreck
Smooth Criminal- Michael Jackson
Linger- The Cranberries
Anomoly- Incubus
Voices Carry- Till Tuesday
Is she really going out with him- Joe Jackson
Breaking us in two- Joe Jackson
Mr. Jones- Counting Crows
Relax- Frankie goes to Hollywood
Outside- Staind
Till It sleeps- Metalica
Long View- Green Day
She Loves me Not- Papa Roach
I Alone- Live


and right this second? Name that tune

“it's easier not to be wise and measure these things by your brains I sank into Eden with you alone in the church by and byI'll read to you here, save your eyes you'll need them, your boat is at sea your anchor is up, you've been swept awayand the greatest of teachers won't hesitate to leave you there, by yourself, chained to fate

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
fear is not the end of this!”

Dedicated to my dude. I miss you baby. Be home soon, safe and sound ..with me.