Captured!

It was like pulling teeth but well worth the effort.

A million thoughts in just one paragraph

Since the commencement of this war in Iraq, my rage has often been misconstrued as anti-American. I am not anti-American. I am anti current American Government. Very big difference. Americans are very smart people. They have earned their title of richest of the G8 countries. Their intelligence, their passion and their drive is the backbone of that title. Todays enormous protest in Washington once reminds me that their voices remain loud and strong.
History has taught us that all great empires that misuse their power for selfish gain are eventually brought down. Mr. Bush; your time is near and to be brought down by your very own people is wonderfully Karmic. Amazing how the American people have never forgotten the constituation, the sacred beliefs that make your country as beautiful as she is. Its time you were reminded. The polls, Congress rebellion, the demonstrations...my American friends, you have my humble respect.

My New Best Friend...

The Burton Feather. 144' of whoop ass ride. I LOVE this board!

Fear and Loathing - Its roots

A mentionable for all you white chocolate junkies. Hersey's kisses white chocolate with candy cane pieces...IF a woman were to choose chocolate over sex, this little piece of heaven would be the deciding factor. Absolutely amazing!

Now, crawl into my brain and listen to a story and a new theory.

They say that racism is not born, but rather bred. I would agree. They say that children are not intolerant or even racist of others by nature, unless such intolerance or racism has been taught to them. I disagree. Racism and intolerance is fueled by fear. The seed of fear, if not settled breeds more fear, breeds intolerance of diversity, breeds racism. These are the seeds;

It was almost bedtime for the little ones and we were having our usual my big bed cuddle and chat. We were talking about skin color this evening. How are skin can change color with the sun, or how we have different skin color depending on where we come from. The chat was light until my 4 year old whispered. "I just don't like those black people". I was sure I had misunderstood. I asked her to repeat. She said it again, only I think she may have said hate black people. My first response was to recoil and then come back, full force. Freak on her for uttering such
disrespect for fellow human beings. I didn't do that. Instead I asked her why she hated black people. She answered " Because they scare me" The big lightbulb went on in my head and I thought , This is it! This is the moment in every little kids life when they confront diversity and fear for the very first time. How their parents ( or whichever adult was in range of that comment) respond to that comment will draft the blueprint for how this child may see racial/religious/cultural diversity in the future. There will be the parent who will pat their kid on the head and say "Good boy Johnny. Those blacks should go back to Africa. They are dirty, poor , ignorant thieves ,thus fuelling his childs existant fear . I took this precious opportunity to teach. I asked her about her best friend Jamie. Why was Jamie her best friend? What makes her special? How much do you like Jamie" Her reply was emotional. Jamie loves to play barbies, Jamie shares her cookies. James loves watching Ice Age. Jamie is her bestest friend in the world. I asked if she would still like Jamie if Jamie was black. She paused and then said, yes. Jamie would always be her best friend. I told her that just because someone's skin was a different color, doesn't mean they aren't a really amazing person. Someone who could be your very best friend. I told her that she shouldn't fear someone who is different. She should get to know them, share their similarities and their differences. Learn about each other . She thought that was a great idea. She would share her Dora pencil crayons,thus quelling this childs fear

It all felt right.

Winter Wonderland

Getting ready in the lodge

Cool Tricks!
My tailbone remains intact! Yeahhhh

S and I took off snowboarding yesterday. The weather was gorgeous. The temp was -1 and it snowed lightly all morning. The slopes were all powder and there was next to no one there. We had alot of fun. I dropped S off at work and got home around dinner deciding it was the perfect evening for a horror night.

Horror night is just another one of the bizarre quirks that I love . I live in the country in a fairly isolated area. I'm always telling people that our sleepy little town would make for a perfect background in a Stephen King novel. Its a great setting for a creative imagination. I love these nights when I'm on my own, and being an adrenaline junkie, I can have my heart racing in moments. Its a great rush. Horror night works like this;

I'll smoke a joint, watching a somewhat realistic horror flick, and then sit outside listening to the wind, the wolves howling, the silence...and let my imagination run wild. I'm fairly effecient in scaring the crap out of myself. I imagine anything from aliens to axe wielding psychopaths .
In reality, wouldn't happen because my dogs would chew out the throats of any tresspasser on my property, but it's still a great little game to play.

So last night, the horror flick of choice was The Hills Have Eyes. Now, I'm pretty skeptical about horrors. Most are laughable at best, downright pathetic really. The trick is finding one that could ( or at least you think it could) possibily happen. My weakness if zombies and psycho freaks. Those always freak me out. This movie scared me to DEATH! For the first time in a long time, I actually had to turn it off . How disapointing. I wimped out! I must watch this movie again from start to finish. It was vile, graphic, perverse. Everything I love in a horror flick. I must prevail!

Bystander Disease

Something happened last night that affected me profoudly and it was suggested I blog about it . I'm writing in hopes it will purge the disapointment I feel in myself and also to solidify my commitment to never allow it to happen again.

I was running errands after work and one of my stops was at the bank. It was one of those handy drive through bank machines. I was doing my business when I hear this scream. It was shrilling and it cut me to the bone. I could tell instantly it was a childs scream. It was coming from in front of me so I drove around the corner and that when I saw it.

There was a woman and a boy of perhaps 8-10 walking/struggling in the parking lot. This woman was beating on the kid. She was slapping him and pushing him and tugging his hair.
With her free arm, she had one of his arms pinned behind his back. The child was screaming
Please stop, it hurts, please stop. I watched from a distance for a second or two and then pulled up the car right beside them. My original thinking was perhaps if she saw me, she would realize she was being watched and she would stop beating on this poor kid. Didn't happen. They proceeded to walk right by me, the boy still screaming and struggling but not before he caught my eye and screamed, help me! help me!

A million thoughts were going through my mind. Absolute rage at this woman, saddness at the plight of this poor little boy. My head was swirling with a million possibilities. Maybe he has behavior issues and she was restraining him, maybe these outbursts are a common occurance...maybe maybe maybe. As I was processing these thoughts they kept on moving behind me, past the car. And then I did the unthinkable.

I drove away.

I drove away to the next parking lot, parked the car, sat there and cried. I cried because I was a coward, because I was irresponsible, because worst of all, I was a bystander and I did nothing to stop the situation. I came up with a million excuses why I shouldn't get involved and thats exactly what they were. Excuses..and none of them valid.

I feel like I let this child down. He cried out for help and for whatever reason, I chose not to get involved. I spent most of last evening trying to understand why I hesitated. I was afraid to be wrong. I was afraid that what I was seeing wasn't really what I thought it was and I was sticking my nose into someones business. Isn't that how perpetrators get away with abuse for so long?
People see it, people condemn it, but nobody stops it.

I wish I could rewind the tape. I wish I could go back to the situation because I would have handled it very differently. I don't think I would have entered a tug of war with this woman, yanking what I presume was her son away from her. Scott warned me of that. I could have ended up charged with not only assault, but attempted kidnapping if the woman decided to tell police I was taking her child. I should have called 9/11 from my cell phone. I should have followed them. I should have led the police to them. I could have stopped it that way. If I had been wrong, so what? How would I have suffered? Humiliation? Big deal. I would have rather done something and been wrong than do nothing at all. I won't make that mistake again

Something else that really bothered me was the age of this child. Anyone who knows me knows I am dead set against violence towards children. I'm not looking for a debate here, but its my opinion that no adult has the right to hit a child, even if they pathetically guise it discipline. In the real world. it is unnacceptable ( and illegal) to hit anyone. You can be charged if you smack your co-workers, friends, strangers , parents and spouse. Why is it permissable to smack a child? Why are they less important? Why do the basic rights and dignities of a child cease simply because they are born to parents who advocate corporal punishment? I degress..

This child was older. I would guess 8, 9 or 10. He's on the doorstep of puberty , where the blueprints for sexuality, relations with females and personal identity are created. Whats going to happen to this boy? How is he going to process this abuse from his mother? Will he be an abuser himself? Will he hate woman and spend his life harming them to gain control he never had as a child. Worse, will he punish women for the evil sins of his trailer trash pig mother?

My heart breaks for this boy. I learned a few valuable lessons last night. I learned that it is unacceptable to be a bystander. We have a right and responsibility as human beings to protect each other, especially those most vulnerable. I learned that my own children are so blessed to be able to live in a home without violence and fear. Where they are loved and cherished and it is understood and coveted that they are gifts from God. I learned that my needs and my fears MUST come second in this type of scenario.

I learned, I really learned

Time Flies

I promised an update to no avail. Its been a busy month for me and as usual my blogger is always the first to get neglected. My blogger and my eyebrows.

Work has been busy. The restaurant re-opened in December and initial reviews have been fantastic. The official opening party is tomorrow evening. This means I have to
get dressed up, smile on cue , sample some food and pretend I'm estactic about being there.

I've been restless lately. Thats always a sure sign that change is coming. I think I'm seeking new challenges and goals. I've been pondering this alot lately. What leaps and bounds can I take in 2007? I've drafted a very rough list; I've chosen to omit the generic goals everyone makes and have mine more specialized.


Drumroll please

1. Learn how to actually snowboard in the right direction . I'm currently boarding down the hill backwards on a toe edge. Not very graceful.

2. Give yoga an honest try. I'm a weight lifter. Yoga is for pansies. Thats what I've said all along
yet my recovery is too slow and I think its lack of stretching adequately. I'm giving it a try but I refuse to wear those girly fat ass yoga pants.

3, Take the Goalie Coach clinic. I already have my certification for coach, but with Drew running with her passion for goalie, I'd really like to take a specialized course in goalie training so I can help her.

4. Cook more. Yes, you heard it. I'm so lazy when it comes to cooking. Its not a problem for me. I eat mostly raw, organic foods anyway but the girls are sick and tired of frozen foods, take out or scrambled eggs and toast. I need to expland their menu for the nights when Chef Scott is working.


5. Control my clothes shopping a little. There was a day not long ago when I'd buy a new outfit and be dying to wear it the next day. Lately, I've been buying so much, I actually forget to wear it. That can't be good. I'll devise my own therapy plan. Walk around the mall with no credit cards, no debit cards and only coffee money. Think I can do it?

6. Update the scrapbooks. If I don't update the younger girls scrap books I'll be paying for it in bills from the Psychologist later. My eldest has an expansive scrap book filled with every single mile-stone imaginable. The middle child has bits and pieces with large age gaps inbetween. The youngest has... well... baby foot prints and a hospital tag. Perhaps this should be moved to #1

7. Wear high heels once in awhile. Heels are like clown stilts to me. Even 2 inch heels scare me.
I live in converse hightops and vans slip on shoes 24/7. I'm 35 and I should probably act it sometimes.

8. Ditto for my work attire. Unless I have a bank meeting, I never dress up. Dressing up for me is jeans, a turtleneck and boots. Typically, its cargo's , a hoody and converse. Must change that

9. Experiment in my garden this year. I want to plant a rasberry bush or bushes. I also want to try corn on the cob.

10. Finish my certificate for personal trainer. I already know that this is the biggest step of all, not because of the course but rather because of what it will mean. It's the beginning of a very important door being opened.

I have so many more, but let me sink my teeth into these for the next 6 months.

Weren't we supposed to be driving Flying cars in '07?

It's been a crazy week, so my update will be short. I promise to elaborate later and I actually have a few topics in mind to spread wildfire.

Christmas was lovely. Of course, we didn't see ONE snowflake until the day we left. Thats right, the snowboards stayed on the rack the entire trip. It didn't matter. Everything was still almost perfect. Almost..except for a grumpy grandma and a moody teen; both which we left at the slope
( Kidding) The Chalet was gorgeous. A fully stocked kitchen with a mountain view from a huge picture window. It made morning coffee absolute heaven. The wood stove served up the best
roast dinners I've ever eaten and the fireplace put me to sleep like a baby every night. We did alot of hiking in the mountains and spent time tracking Deer. There were so many and their home, nestled in the mountain landscape was breathtaking. Everyone loved Santa. There were lots of ohh's and ahh's. I was blue on the drive home. I wanted to escape for just a little bit longer, but alas the insanity of life was screaming my name.

More to come...