When the grass is too green on the other side...

I have a friend who we'll call Mary. We all either have a friend like Mary or we know someone like Mary. Mary has lived a virtually perfect existence. The bumps in her road of life have to date been mere cracks in the asphalt, barely noticeable and most certainly not life altering. Mary is tall, lean, naturally blonde with blue eyes. On the surface, Mary is the woman most love to hate. Mary was a cheerleader in high school and had her pick of any boy she wanted. Her Friday nights were always booked. Boys were in love with her and girls wanted to emulate her. Her parents never divorced, she was close with her siblings, she was naturally gifted at school and played sports. Her parents were financially secure so she hand picked her University and landed the career of her dreams . She ultimately married the perfect man, bought a beautiful country home and is now expecting her first child.

What fascinates me about Mary is that even with everything else going for her, she is also one of the most spiritually evolved people I have ever met. Mary and I have spent hours nursing a bottle of Chardonnay on a patio in the summer discussing among other things spiritual evolution, reincarnation, the power of the super ego and the Id. We compare Jung to Freud, Christianity to Islam, Men to women and everything else controversial and relevant.

So one day over Mediterranean Pizza I asked her the million dollar question. Whats it like exactly to be perfect?

She threw her head back, laughed then looked me straight in the eye and replied... "Absolutely horrifying". I was perplexed. "How so?" I enquired.

Her answer re-enforced my view of this incredible journey we call life.

I'm actually envious of you she said.

Excuse me?

You heard me.

I checked her glass. Was she drunk? Feverish? Bump on her head?

She took a deep breath, filled our glasses and the words began to flow.

You have suffered, you have been vindicated, you have been blinded by darkness, resurrected by light, given birth, thrown the final handful of dirt on the grave of someone you loved, been taken for granted, been cherished, been rejected, been loved, been abandoned, been found. There is a common thread. For every wound you have suffered, your skin has healed, just a little tougher and a little more resilient than before. You emerge with more wisdom, more confidence in your abilities, more awareness of self.

She was quiet a moment and then she whispered; but what about me? I have never known any real pain. Never dealt with adversity, never had to draw strength from within.
Whats going to happen to me when something bad happens? I'm never going to survive.
I have soft, baby skin. I'm not going to know how to cope.

I never really looked at it that way but she made perfect sense. There is purpose in
pain, growth in adversity, strength in healing.

I know that as I grow and evolve I understand how vital it is to love and be loved, to take risks, to be selfish sometimes, To reach out for the impossible, grab it and claim it. To own your life, truly own it and live it.

I smiled and grabbed her hand tight. What I didn't say to her is that she need not worry. I have enough strength for both of us and I'd never let anything bad happen to her.