The Eve of Christmas Eve
It's 2 am and I'm done! I just finished all the baking for the party tomorrow night. Scott does all the cooking and I do all the baking. I figured I'd finish it up tonight while everyone is sleeping so I could set the pace a little slower tomorrow. I had the Ipod going and baking up a storm. A snowflake cake ( white cake, white icing, silver snowballs and covered in sweet coconut) Skor toffee bars, macaroons, m&m cookies and shortbread. I just made some licorice tea and wanted to blog a little before I head to bed.
Every year on Christmas Eve we have a tradition. After the kids have gone to bed and the rest of my family has crashed somewhere in my house, Scott and I find some time to lay under the tree for an hour . We share thoughts on the past year. The good, the not so good, the lessons we've learned, what we want to work towards in the coming year. I was reflecting tonight. I'll share a few observations and lessons I've learned.
I underestimated Jaden, my baby. I always assumed Drew was the tough one, and she is but Jaden is so much the same. She started hockey this year and her intensity blows me away. She caught the bug her sister has. The are both so intense, so determined. Its an amazing quality.
I strongly suggest everyone fear death at least once. It will absolutely change the way you live your life. It changed mine. I had never valued life so much as I did this year. 2007 came the shocking revelation that life is not infinate . The minute I realized that, I wanted to live forever. I gave up all bad habits, pushed myself past my own limits and created new challenges. 2008 will be an extention of that
I spent my life wanting to be on the inside but never fitting in. In 2007, I fit it and I learned that I wasn't missing anything afterall. Popularity is highly overrated and I don't care what anyone says, yes it does change you. I don't want to ever change who I am so I gave back the popularity with a nice thank you note. Thanks.. but no thanks.
Never assume your teenager isn't listening. Sometimes we don't give them near enough credit for deductive thinking and reasoning. Just because they don't admit it, they actually do pick up a few life lessons along the way.
God chose Scott for me. He chose him because he knew anyone else would run away. If I pushed hard enough they would all run. Not Scott. He knows my guts. He has to reach inside that bloody mess to find my heart. I hate that I punish him for sticking it out. I love that he is strong enough to endure my wraith. He is teaching me. I am learning
I got my first wrinkle and I wasn't upset. In fact, it made me smile. Suddenly, I felt wiser than everyone. Like that wrinkle was a deserved rite of passage. I wonder if I'll feel the same way when my ass starts to expand.
I've finally accepted being a metaphoric orphan. My father is too scared and my mother is too selfish to have an intimate relationship with me. I am loved. It need not come from the people that gave you life.. it comes from the people that celebrate and value your life.
Next, I'll look ahead to 2008
For now, Happy Holidays . I wish all of you clarity, peace and that umistakable feeling of being loved.
Every year on Christmas Eve we have a tradition. After the kids have gone to bed and the rest of my family has crashed somewhere in my house, Scott and I find some time to lay under the tree for an hour . We share thoughts on the past year. The good, the not so good, the lessons we've learned, what we want to work towards in the coming year. I was reflecting tonight. I'll share a few observations and lessons I've learned.
I underestimated Jaden, my baby. I always assumed Drew was the tough one, and she is but Jaden is so much the same. She started hockey this year and her intensity blows me away. She caught the bug her sister has. The are both so intense, so determined. Its an amazing quality.
I strongly suggest everyone fear death at least once. It will absolutely change the way you live your life. It changed mine. I had never valued life so much as I did this year. 2007 came the shocking revelation that life is not infinate . The minute I realized that, I wanted to live forever. I gave up all bad habits, pushed myself past my own limits and created new challenges. 2008 will be an extention of that
I spent my life wanting to be on the inside but never fitting in. In 2007, I fit it and I learned that I wasn't missing anything afterall. Popularity is highly overrated and I don't care what anyone says, yes it does change you. I don't want to ever change who I am so I gave back the popularity with a nice thank you note. Thanks.. but no thanks.
Never assume your teenager isn't listening. Sometimes we don't give them near enough credit for deductive thinking and reasoning. Just because they don't admit it, they actually do pick up a few life lessons along the way.
God chose Scott for me. He chose him because he knew anyone else would run away. If I pushed hard enough they would all run. Not Scott. He knows my guts. He has to reach inside that bloody mess to find my heart. I hate that I punish him for sticking it out. I love that he is strong enough to endure my wraith. He is teaching me. I am learning
I got my first wrinkle and I wasn't upset. In fact, it made me smile. Suddenly, I felt wiser than everyone. Like that wrinkle was a deserved rite of passage. I wonder if I'll feel the same way when my ass starts to expand.
I've finally accepted being a metaphoric orphan. My father is too scared and my mother is too selfish to have an intimate relationship with me. I am loved. It need not come from the people that gave you life.. it comes from the people that celebrate and value your life.
Next, I'll look ahead to 2008
For now, Happy Holidays . I wish all of you clarity, peace and that umistakable feeling of being loved.
posted by Sandi at 1:44 AM
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