Sombre Thoughts...

"Two Ottawa firefighters were in hospital last night with serious injuries after they and three others jumped from the top floor of a three-storey building when the townhouse fire they were battling raged out of control."

These guys were from Scott's station, it just happened to be a different shift. My heart is heavy today for the family's of these fire fighters. They no doubt received that visit we all secretly dread. I have vivid dreams about this visit. Its the middle of the night and the Chief's car pulls into the driveway. The Chief, along with a brother who was close to Scott will trudge up the sidewalk, eyes cast downwards and lost for words. I see them in horror. My thoughts are irrational. If I just don't answer the door, whatever they've come to tell me won't be true. If I turn around and go back to bed, that makes it not real. On some deep level I've prepared for this day, although it's much easier to go through life convincing myself that all he does at work is wash firetrucks and play poker. I'll turn the channel on the radio when I hear a fire is raging in our city. This is not how I want to find out. He has a one hour 'grace' period at the end of work.
This meaning he has one hour to be home or call to say he's not coming home before I freak out.
The protocol has deviated once or twice. The results are ugly. This is how we live. Ironically, I wouldn't have it any other way. I know most of the wives say the same thing. Its not my right to pick and choose what makes him happy and fullfilled. My responsibility is to support
his choices. I'd rather a happy partner for the short term than a miserable partner for the long term.

God bless the 3 of you in hospital right now. I know your brothers are on their way right now to sit with you and pray with you. Thank you for all you do, thank you for such selfless sacrifice.
Thank you for always being my heroes