Big hair night
It had been a long long time since I've been dancing so Sunday night I was ready to strike a pose and went with Miss Becka to the 80's retro night at Barrymores. We had so much fun with only one regret. We didn't bring the camera which was shameful considering the hilarious coulda/woulda/shoulda photo ops. This is what we observed;
We all remember highschool; some of us - raises my hand- painfully. In every Highschool there are the same cliques . If you don't belong to one of these cliques, you simply don't exist. Fast forward 20 years and this is what they've become today
1. We have the heavy metal rocker dude. He's gained 30 pounds but still believes he can fit into those skin tight jeans. Judging by the way these pants fit, I can almost guarentee he's sterile by now. The long hair is speckled grey and he's wearing a too short leather jacket that looks like a leather, ladies shrug. He carries himself like a bad boy but you just know he had to sell the motorcycle years ago to buy his kid braces and he'll be going home to get nagged at by wifey for forgetting to take out the poodle for a pee.
2. We have the Football player. Crew cut hair, an old Football shirt so tight it's showing off his man boobs and the biggest, roundest beer gut I've ever seen. His laugh is loud and very annoying and he spends the evening body slamming everyone and throwing an invisible football. You want to suffocate him with the bag of cheetos hanging from his coat pocket.
3. The beloved cheerleader has morphed into a cougar. This was particularily sad. I don't know whats worse. The muffin top, the camel toe, the burnt, permed hair or watching a mother of 5 gyrate to Samantha Fox's "Touch me" .
4. The nerd. The only difference is that the nerd now owns the building and all other commercial property on Bank, is the CEO and boss of the football player, heavy metal dude and wrinkled cheerleader. He still wears the 3 piece suit, just as he did at the highschool dance. He still looks like a bobblehead when he tries to dance and he still has really bad hair.
5. The stud. My personal favourite. I didn't think this bizarre, mating ritual still existed, but amusingly, it does. Its night at the Roxbury, complete with ever present roll of certs and gyrating hips that could impregnant any woman within a 75 foot radius. He has convinced himself that every rejection is actually a primal mating dance where she's challenging him to
drag her by the hair back to the cave. He never gives up. He doesn't even pick up on the lesbian routine.
We all remember highschool; some of us - raises my hand- painfully. In every Highschool there are the same cliques . If you don't belong to one of these cliques, you simply don't exist. Fast forward 20 years and this is what they've become today
1. We have the heavy metal rocker dude. He's gained 30 pounds but still believes he can fit into those skin tight jeans. Judging by the way these pants fit, I can almost guarentee he's sterile by now. The long hair is speckled grey and he's wearing a too short leather jacket that looks like a leather, ladies shrug. He carries himself like a bad boy but you just know he had to sell the motorcycle years ago to buy his kid braces and he'll be going home to get nagged at by wifey for forgetting to take out the poodle for a pee.
2. We have the Football player. Crew cut hair, an old Football shirt so tight it's showing off his man boobs and the biggest, roundest beer gut I've ever seen. His laugh is loud and very annoying and he spends the evening body slamming everyone and throwing an invisible football. You want to suffocate him with the bag of cheetos hanging from his coat pocket.
3. The beloved cheerleader has morphed into a cougar. This was particularily sad. I don't know whats worse. The muffin top, the camel toe, the burnt, permed hair or watching a mother of 5 gyrate to Samantha Fox's "Touch me" .
4. The nerd. The only difference is that the nerd now owns the building and all other commercial property on Bank, is the CEO and boss of the football player, heavy metal dude and wrinkled cheerleader. He still wears the 3 piece suit, just as he did at the highschool dance. He still looks like a bobblehead when he tries to dance and he still has really bad hair.
5. The stud. My personal favourite. I didn't think this bizarre, mating ritual still existed, but amusingly, it does. Its night at the Roxbury, complete with ever present roll of certs and gyrating hips that could impregnant any woman within a 75 foot radius. He has convinced himself that every rejection is actually a primal mating dance where she's challenging him to
drag her by the hair back to the cave. He never gives up. He doesn't even pick up on the lesbian routine.
posted by Sandi at 12:42 PM
2 Comments:
What did you say! I know you said something!
MeowMeowCat'sPaw!
Get thee back to your cougar circle SoccerMom! Your purses need dancing around them!
You were too busy oogling curly haired boy. -grins- After asking him what a jewish boy would know about arabic tatoos, I played the lesbian card. Would you say it worked?
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