Gods Cruel Joke
It takes us the better part of 30 years to figure it all out. Who we are, what we need and most important, why we're here. After forks in the road and some catastophic veering left when you should have gone right, you finally arrive at that place of painfully acquired knowledge. How are we rewarded? ...by the sudden realization that we're very likely halfway through life. For some, its going to be alot shorter than that. Halfway. The finaility of that is dismal. I can't go back, I can't grasp a few of those moments, I can't change the past. Not that I want to.
I have always believed that we are a product of our experiences. Your strengths, your knowledge, your perceptions are born of experience. Touch the stove enough times and you learn that its hot and don't do that. It was painful, you might even have ugly scars, but you've learned. You've evolved. Its one thing to say you wouldn't go back, you wouldn't change the past. Its another story entirely to forgive the past. Take the spiritual nutrients you need and move forward. Too many people hang on. They hang on to hurt,rejection, betrayl. These lessons are ugly, but they weren't meant to cage us emotionally for life. They weren't meant to use as excuses for being stagnant or repeating the mistakes towards another person, falling back on the " it happened to me' excuse.
I'm thinking about one particular person as I write this. I believe she is the reason I believe in forgiveness, karma, spiritual growth and above all unconditional love. She wounded me, badly. She altered the course of my life. Her choices forced me to learn life lessons too young. While the scars have faded, they run deep. The experiences left baggage. Airport luggage cart's worth of baggage.
I forgave. I mean I REALLY forgave. By my early 30's I decided it was time to stop
bleeding. I understood that her life experiences, her journey, her choices were hers alone and lessons were to be learned from that. It was never about 'me' I was just the unfortunate victim by circumstance. To truly comprehend that is an enormous weight off my shoulders and flings open the door to huge huge growth.
I hate to watch her suffer. She has paid..and paid..and paid.. for those mistakes and she continues to be haunted by karma because unfortunately, she cannot learn the lessons. If I had not forgiven and moved forward I may have derived sadistic pleasure from her pain. I don't. It breaks my heart. The irony is truly baffling.
Maybe it isn't irony at all. Maybe it was supposed to come full circle like that.
The one person she hurt the most in the end is the one person that has stood by her side.
This folks, is a example of why we just cannot be here on this planet merely to eat, sleep, fuck and die. There is just so much more
I have always believed that we are a product of our experiences. Your strengths, your knowledge, your perceptions are born of experience. Touch the stove enough times and you learn that its hot and don't do that. It was painful, you might even have ugly scars, but you've learned. You've evolved. Its one thing to say you wouldn't go back, you wouldn't change the past. Its another story entirely to forgive the past. Take the spiritual nutrients you need and move forward. Too many people hang on. They hang on to hurt,rejection, betrayl. These lessons are ugly, but they weren't meant to cage us emotionally for life. They weren't meant to use as excuses for being stagnant or repeating the mistakes towards another person, falling back on the " it happened to me' excuse.
I'm thinking about one particular person as I write this. I believe she is the reason I believe in forgiveness, karma, spiritual growth and above all unconditional love. She wounded me, badly. She altered the course of my life. Her choices forced me to learn life lessons too young. While the scars have faded, they run deep. The experiences left baggage. Airport luggage cart's worth of baggage.
I forgave. I mean I REALLY forgave. By my early 30's I decided it was time to stop
bleeding. I understood that her life experiences, her journey, her choices were hers alone and lessons were to be learned from that. It was never about 'me' I was just the unfortunate victim by circumstance. To truly comprehend that is an enormous weight off my shoulders and flings open the door to huge huge growth.
I hate to watch her suffer. She has paid..and paid..and paid.. for those mistakes and she continues to be haunted by karma because unfortunately, she cannot learn the lessons. If I had not forgiven and moved forward I may have derived sadistic pleasure from her pain. I don't. It breaks my heart. The irony is truly baffling.
Maybe it isn't irony at all. Maybe it was supposed to come full circle like that.
The one person she hurt the most in the end is the one person that has stood by her side.
This folks, is a example of why we just cannot be here on this planet merely to eat, sleep, fuck and die. There is just so much more
posted by Sandi at 7:41 AM
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